Aikin Associates

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Supervision

From the beginning I work to establish trust. I am transparent about my own
difficulties as a therapist. I relate to supervisees non-judgmentally. I am
accepting and empathetic with the dilemmas of learning something new — the
fears that accompany that learning and the vulnerability of exploring their gaps.
While at the same time, I maintain my boundaries as a consultant and guide.

I am committed to creating an extensive holding environment while holding their
feet to the fire — never backing away from feedback necessary to learn the
complex and precise EFT model. Since feedback is essential, hurt is inevitable
and fear/shame can prevent learning, the safety in the relationship couldn’t be
more essential. Therefore, I anticipate and discuss at the beginning of supervision
probable moments of rupture and the process by which to repair them.

Experiential or Discovery Learning

In most cases, the presence of the therapist is more important than an intellectual
understanding of the steps and stages of EFT. This in no way is meant to
devalue the map – on the contrary, the map is one of the things that make EFT,
uniquely EFT. Mastery of the steps and stages is essential as is developing
fundamental skills of reflection, validation, conjecturing, evocative responding
and enacting, but without therapist presence, i.e., without the capacity to deliver
these skills with warmth, empathy, compassion and genuine human spirit, the
process will not be transformative for the couple. These fundamental EFT skills
are necessary but not sufficient. Imparting this understanding and engaging
in the supervisory process such that the supervisee grows capacity for deep
empathic connection is a fundamental goal of my EFT supervision philosophy.

For example, experiential learning is less about explaining something and more
about modeling how to do it. We do it, have them do it, process what happened
for them, track what they did and its impact on us as supervisors and then
process that, exploring where that is going to take them, and processing what
their experiences are as they are doing these things. Then asking, “And why
does that make sense?”

Felt Sense

Helping supervisees have a felt sense of core concepts of EFT is also an
important part of supervision. Having an experiential felt sense of the cycle, the
attachment meaning of the couples fears and needs and of their reframe are
examples of essential understandings. I want to be helpful with exploring any
difficulties supervisees might have in developing this capacity.

Self of therapist

Another major goal of my philosophy of supervision is to carefully track self of
therapist issues. It is not uncommon for the supervisee to get stuck and even
disregulated in their work with a couple.

Blocks

I focus in on where the supervisee gets blocked. Fear is a central feature
here. Insecurity, shame, view of self as inadequate or not trusting in the
therapeutic process itself are other sources that can block therapists in
their work. Even if there is a deficit in EFT skills, it is usually fear and
these other experiences that interfere with the therapists making use of
what he or she knows — disrupting the therapist’s capacity to be present
and to be affectively engaged in the therapeutic experience with the
couple.

I may become aware of a block emerging as we watch tape. For example,
I see the client exit and the therapist exits right along with the client, or
the client’s primary emotions start to emerge and the therapist asks for
cognitive information or provides cognitive information instead of coming
along side the client and validating or reflecting to deepen and heighten
emotion. Here I might ask, “What are you noticing right now”, and after
processing it, “What are you experiencing right now? Can we stay here
and explore your experience?”

Parallel Process

Parallel process is powerful and often happens in supervision. I try to
stay alert to what is happening right now in the relationship between
supervisee and me that may also be occurring between the supervisee
and their couple. Additionally, while watching tape or while exploring the
therapist’s couple we may become aware that, what is happening between
the couple and the therapist is also happening between the partners of
the couple themselves. This is extremely valuable information that gives
us insight into deeper understandings that allow us to make the implicit
explicit.

Supervisee Specific

I want to emphasize that all of what I’m sharing here regarding goals of
supervision is supervisee specific. Some supervisee’s are capable of effective
presence but need extensive input regarding the steps, stages and interventions.
Others struggle to stay in their experience, regulate themselves and be present
with the couple. I want to make sure that I stay attuned to the needs of my
unique supervisees and that I am not imposing my assumptions onto them.